I don't even know anymore

I'm not perfect, I don't wish I was. I do wish I could get some things right though. I sometimes wish I could find my ambition and put it in a box so I will always have it.

I feel as if I am wasting time.
I want another shot, if not just one.
I feel I am wasting opportunities.
I ... Do not know where to go in my life.
I know where I want to end up, my dream.
It feels like I will never get there though.
Right now I want this, and then I want that.
If I waste so much, why does it matter?

Whoever may be reading this, listening to me, please pray for me.

God please help me. God please take your hands and lay them on my heart. My mind isn't right, please take away all distractions... ALL of them. Fill the gaps of what will keep my sanity whole staying focused. I bred you, I want you. I feel I am so far from you, my father. I love you, and I hate how I hurt you. I want the strength of will, to utilize my wisdom and good heart.

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