?....Random thoughts of the rather interesting night 3/23/2011.....?

Can you really know what you want, when you don't know who you are? You may enjoy good times with an interest. Is it a true interest with someone you want to be with forever, or just something you really like right now? See, it is different if you know you are looking, to have a good time, for fun, or a fling.

Do you need stability? Some say yes, others say no, because it will happen. Where will it come from? Some say your emotions needs stability, while others say you need a stable job with a place to live... etc, etc... everything involving money. I personally think God will provide it all, and you have to think it and feel it before it can become. What one person needs will be different from another.

2:35 AM

When all the light and hope it gone, know that there is another day... another flower... another fish in the sea... and that there is always someone to lean on when you feel so low.

2:40 AM

"Until the day I die, I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die, I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by, I race the clock with you
But if you died right now, You know that I'd die too... I'd die too"
(Until the Day I Die - Story of the Year)

I use to feel like this with you, and still think sometimes I do. I do not know if it is me, or the way I am around you. I think it is me, and how I am not the stable person I wish to be. I want you to know I never meant to hurt you, and what I said was true.

...Good Lord you have saved me, good Lord keep saving me.

2:44 AM

Sometimes I hate what has happened throughout my life, and sometimes I don't. Have I really let go? I want to be this great person whom my one day* family will be proud of me, and not ashamed. I want little kids to look up to me, and I want growing men to see me as an example of how to act and hold yourself. I want to be closer to God. I don't want to feel guilt, sorrow, broken, useless, or ... ya get the point.

I want to feel confident all the time. I want to be wise about it, and not boast or .... I don't know, I can't think of the word. It's late... I'm tired.

2:51 AM

I lost my hope, I see it, and have not grasped it. What is wrong with me?